When my mother got the news...

4/23/2014

'You are NOT going to label my daughter with that crap!' My mother argued with the doctor when he mentioned thinking I might have Aspergers. 'She will no longer be seeking therapy services here, this is ridiculous!' she mumbled as she dragged me out of the office. She told me in the car I did not have Aspergers, I just needed to start acting like a 'normal' child to get people to see that I was not 'weird'. This started my journey through life. She told every therapist and medical professional that I needed medication for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I was Bi Polar and had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder so they needed to get me on medication for that too. As time went on, I had been put on more pills than I can remember, I don't remember much from the ages of 8 until 14 other than my mother and my father splitting up.

She was VERY un-accepting of what the Dr said, and it made me feel TERRIBLE, I was called things like 'weird' 'odd' 'a r*tard' and many other mean things. I was told unless I learned how to be 'normal' that I was never going to have any friends. I desperately wanted friends, and to fit in. I wanted my mother to accept me. She never told anyone about what the Dr said, and tried to make me fit in with my peers. I had a few friends who got used to my quirky personality after some time, I still have a few friends from when I was around 6 years old, who stuck by my side and stayed in touch with me even on my baddest days. Most friends have gone away from me in my life, I have 'alienated' them [also something my mother said I would do to every person I have ever met in my life]

And I did for most of my life. I have maybe 2 friends from my childhood that I still talk to. I have a hard time making friends. I feel awkward talking to people. I can talk to people over the internet... I can NOT do it on the phone and I dislike doing it face to face most of the time. I can not read peoples emotions very well, I can see when someone is sad or happy but I can't figure out why most of the time. 

I will post more tomorrow, about my childhood a bit and more about how things affected me, thanks for reading! :)

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Aspergers syndrome and my life!

In this blog, I will talk about the issues I have faced and how I have dealt with them. It may make some people feel less like an outcast, and more people know that you are NOT the only ones who have gone through the battle of being the outcast in school, and with your family. I have been there, and through this for the past 20 [ish] years. SO, let the posts begin...

[[Please share if you know someone who could benefit from knowing they aren't alone!!]]

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